some new indie music with you...especially Mary. Mary, if you don't like this guy's music, then I don't know you at all and we can't be friends.
[ahem. Just kidding, folks]
So, anyway...
I challenge you all to listen to Casey Hurt's music. I especially like the song "Come to Me."
If you listen to it, let me know what you think!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Awed by God
oh Maker-of-Night-Sky--
--You breathe---
I come to life!
You speak---
The world becomes!
& I?
I am small-full.
.awe-full.
I want to gather up all of the ocean in my arms-- clutch it to my breast--
if only because Your voice is upon the waters.
I want to interlace my fingers with the hand of the next person I meet--
if only because they are created in Your image.
I want to lie in the sand, feeling it mold into the shape of my body--
if only because you have known and numbered small, small me.
Me!
Oh Maker-Of-Night-Sky...how is it that you have known my name before time?
Known that my parents would discuss and disagree before finally naming me Jessica?
Oh Maker-Of-Night-Sky...how vast your mind must be! To number the stars, the sand--
and still consider the hairs on my head and the tears from my eyes worth counting too!
[Do you simply like counting?]
And more amazing still--you know my inmost being.
My mind turning and reeling right now, trying to right You something to explain how I feel--
And You are aware of these thoughts--You know what I will write
[and you know how to write it better]
The Psalmist was right--it is too amazing!
Too beautiful!
--You breathe---
I come to life!
You speak---
The world becomes!
& I?
I am small-full.
.awe-full.
I want to gather up all of the ocean in my arms-- clutch it to my breast--
if only because Your voice is upon the waters.
I want to interlace my fingers with the hand of the next person I meet--
if only because they are created in Your image.
I want to lie in the sand, feeling it mold into the shape of my body--
if only because you have known and numbered small, small me.
Me!
Oh Maker-Of-Night-Sky...how is it that you have known my name before time?
Known that my parents would discuss and disagree before finally naming me Jessica?
Oh Maker-Of-Night-Sky...how vast your mind must be! To number the stars, the sand--
and still consider the hairs on my head and the tears from my eyes worth counting too!
[Do you simply like counting?]
And more amazing still--you know my inmost being.
My mind turning and reeling right now, trying to right You something to explain how I feel--
And You are aware of these thoughts--You know what I will write
[and you know how to write it better]
The Psalmist was right--it is too amazing!
Too beautiful!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tongues
I've been struggling with this all week. How to write about this...how to express what God's heart is about this (as best as I can make out).
I'm talking about the gift of the Holy Spirit...particularly the part about the manifestation of speaking in other "tongues."
I know this was brought up in Bible study. I was pretty determined not to say anything.
[fail]
To be perfectly frank with you, the way it was talked about really hurt me.
It felt like someone was putting down or discounting my best friend. I felt really sad, to be honest, which is why I'm writing this.
Ok, let me start at the beginning of your concerns/disinterest.
1. "I saw someone doing it and it was weird." or "They tried to make me speak in tongues like them." or "The person I saw doing it was a really bad person."
Believe me, growing up in Pentecostal churches, I have seen this gift abused.
And on behalf of the gift itself, and for those of us that have received it and try not to abuse it--
I'm very sorry.
I wish you hadn't had a bad experience...but let me tell you something very important:
Satan will use anything to keep you from this gift. Misgivings, fear, indifference. Why? Because he knows it's the power of God--it's the Holy Spirit using Christians to pray God's perfect will. It's for intercession.
He hates that, and he'll use bad experiences, faulty doctrine about this gift no longer being in use, and fear to stop believers from receiving this blessing from God.
So what is speaking in tongues? What's the deal?
Well, when Jesus left earth, he promised to send "The Comforter" (The Holy Spirit). He said "It's better that I leave, that way The Comforter can come."
And why does He come? What's His purpose?
In John 16, Jesus lays it out:
When the Comforter (Holy Spirit) comes, He'll:
He says "When the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will receive power to testify about me with great effect...to the ends of the earth."
On the Day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to those in the Upper Room. You can find the whole account in Acts 2. Tongues of fire were on their heads and they began to speak in other languages. Many people were saved that day when Peter preached, full of the new power he had just received.
All throughout the book of Acts, as I'm sure many of you remember from when we spent a year in that book, the apostles prayed for people to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When they did, it almost always says that they "spoke in other tongues."
In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul talks further about this gift to the church of Corinth. His advice is good. It sounds like some of you have experienced what the people in the church of Corinth were doing--speaking in tongues publicly, but no one interpreting or explaining what the Spirit was saying. Paul wrote to them to put an end to that. He also talked about the importance of prophecy, but I'll skip my spiel on prophecy for now. Paul said he was glad that "he spoke in tongues more than all of you."
Speaking in tongues in your private prayer time and in a service where someone can interpret is wonderful.
Speaking in tongues builds up your inner Spirit.
Speaking in tongues allows you to pray God's perfect will, without your own thoughts/motives/desires getting in the way.
Speaking in tongues is a blessing--a rich blessing and it brings intimacy with God that regular spoken prayer does not.
What else?
The Father says "Ask, and it will be given to you."
Jesus says, "What father, if his son asks for bread gives him a stone? If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father give good gifts to them that ask?"
If Jesus said the Comforter would bring all these things, then I want that in my life.
If Paul talked about how speaking in tongues brings greater intimacy with God, then I want that in my life.
If this gift of the Holy Spirit, manifested by the apostles speaking in tongues, changed the entire world in the 1st century, then I want that gift!
The gifts of the Holy Spirit are not something to be afraid of--that kind of fear is not from God. It is the Enemy trying to keep you from one of God's wonderful gifts.
It's not something to be made fun of--it is the Spirit of God.
He (the Holy Spirit) brings joy!
He is good! Like, for real good...not just cliche good.
What is it like?
uhhh....it's good, first off. Have you ever tried to explain why being a Christian is good and beneficial and what it feels like to a non-believer? You already know how good it is, but sometimes it's hard to put it into words. You wouldn't want that goodness to leave your life, right?
Well...it's pretty much the same emotion once you receive this gift. It's a blessing. God, Jesus, prophets, apostles--they all talked about it. Therefore, it must be pretty important.
But let me describe it generally. You’re aware of your surroundings...you’re not really out of control, or in some trance or anything. It basically is a couple of different ways for me (for me, at least).
1. When I am earnestly praying in tongues, it feels like a tightening in my stomach-area. My whole body feels like it's concentrating on getting out the words.
2. When I am praying in the "background" (driving, working, Bible study, wherever/whenever I think to do it), it's kind of like multi-tasking with your brain. I can pray in tongues in my head on the backburner, and still carry on a conversation or drive or do a task, all while praying quietly.
A Few more things--hang in there!
In Romans 8, it talks about when you don't know what to pray--and your Spirit intercedes for you in "groanings which cannot be uttered."
There are many times I don't know how to pray for a situation. There are times when I'm too emotional to try to formulate a prayer. Praying in tongues is God's gift for these situations. You pray His will--not yours. His words--not Yours.
It takes you out of the equation. Which is good, because we are fallible...and He isn't.
If there's one thing I could ask of you, pray about it. In English (or Spanish or whatever your primary language is).
Please don't dismiss it so simply. Please don't be too busy or too wary or too whatever to look deeper into this gift. I know it may look strange, but be encouraged! God gives good gifts to His children--and we are His children! He loves us.
Like the gift of salvation and baptism, the infilling of the Holy Spirit, shown by speaking in tongues is important.
It's life-changing.
I really believe that God wants to give it to each of His children. You can pray for it and God can fill you when you're by yourself at home. God can use someone to pray with you to receive this gift. There isn't some special formula to receive it. It's a gift--He won't force it on you. But trust me--it helps. It is something you want--even if you don't realize it yet.
I promise.
I'm talking about the gift of the Holy Spirit...particularly the part about the manifestation of speaking in other "tongues."
I know this was brought up in Bible study. I was pretty determined not to say anything.
[fail]
To be perfectly frank with you, the way it was talked about really hurt me.
It felt like someone was putting down or discounting my best friend. I felt really sad, to be honest, which is why I'm writing this.
Ok, let me start at the beginning of your concerns/disinterest.
1. "I saw someone doing it and it was weird." or "They tried to make me speak in tongues like them." or "The person I saw doing it was a really bad person."
Believe me, growing up in Pentecostal churches, I have seen this gift abused.
And on behalf of the gift itself, and for those of us that have received it and try not to abuse it--
I'm very sorry.
I wish you hadn't had a bad experience...but let me tell you something very important:
Satan will use anything to keep you from this gift. Misgivings, fear, indifference. Why? Because he knows it's the power of God--it's the Holy Spirit using Christians to pray God's perfect will. It's for intercession.
He hates that, and he'll use bad experiences, faulty doctrine about this gift no longer being in use, and fear to stop believers from receiving this blessing from God.
So what is speaking in tongues? What's the deal?
Well, when Jesus left earth, he promised to send "The Comforter" (The Holy Spirit). He said "It's better that I leave, that way The Comforter can come."
And why does He come? What's His purpose?
In John 16, Jesus lays it out:
When the Comforter (Holy Spirit) comes, He'll:
- expose error
- convince the world of its sins
- guide us (Christians) into all truth
- show us things about the future
- glorify Jesus and bring Him honor
He says "When the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will receive power to testify about me with great effect...to the ends of the earth."
On the Day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to those in the Upper Room. You can find the whole account in Acts 2. Tongues of fire were on their heads and they began to speak in other languages. Many people were saved that day when Peter preached, full of the new power he had just received.
All throughout the book of Acts, as I'm sure many of you remember from when we spent a year in that book, the apostles prayed for people to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When they did, it almost always says that they "spoke in other tongues."
In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul talks further about this gift to the church of Corinth. His advice is good. It sounds like some of you have experienced what the people in the church of Corinth were doing--speaking in tongues publicly, but no one interpreting or explaining what the Spirit was saying. Paul wrote to them to put an end to that. He also talked about the importance of prophecy, but I'll skip my spiel on prophecy for now. Paul said he was glad that "he spoke in tongues more than all of you."
Speaking in tongues in your private prayer time and in a service where someone can interpret is wonderful.
Speaking in tongues builds up your inner Spirit.
Speaking in tongues allows you to pray God's perfect will, without your own thoughts/motives/desires getting in the way.
Speaking in tongues is a blessing--a rich blessing and it brings intimacy with God that regular spoken prayer does not.
What else?
The Father says "Ask, and it will be given to you."
Jesus says, "What father, if his son asks for bread gives him a stone? If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father give good gifts to them that ask?"
If Jesus said the Comforter would bring all these things, then I want that in my life.
If Paul talked about how speaking in tongues brings greater intimacy with God, then I want that in my life.
If this gift of the Holy Spirit, manifested by the apostles speaking in tongues, changed the entire world in the 1st century, then I want that gift!
The gifts of the Holy Spirit are not something to be afraid of--that kind of fear is not from God. It is the Enemy trying to keep you from one of God's wonderful gifts.
It's not something to be made fun of--it is the Spirit of God.
He (the Holy Spirit) brings joy!
He is good! Like, for real good...not just cliche good.
What is it like?
uhhh....it's good, first off. Have you ever tried to explain why being a Christian is good and beneficial and what it feels like to a non-believer? You already know how good it is, but sometimes it's hard to put it into words. You wouldn't want that goodness to leave your life, right?
Well...it's pretty much the same emotion once you receive this gift. It's a blessing. God, Jesus, prophets, apostles--they all talked about it. Therefore, it must be pretty important.
But let me describe it generally. You’re aware of your surroundings...you’re not really out of control, or in some trance or anything. It basically is a couple of different ways for me (for me, at least).
1. When I am earnestly praying in tongues, it feels like a tightening in my stomach-area. My whole body feels like it's concentrating on getting out the words.
2. When I am praying in the "background" (driving, working, Bible study, wherever/whenever I think to do it), it's kind of like multi-tasking with your brain. I can pray in tongues in my head on the backburner, and still carry on a conversation or drive or do a task, all while praying quietly.
A Few more things--hang in there!
In Romans 8, it talks about when you don't know what to pray--and your Spirit intercedes for you in "groanings which cannot be uttered."
There are many times I don't know how to pray for a situation. There are times when I'm too emotional to try to formulate a prayer. Praying in tongues is God's gift for these situations. You pray His will--not yours. His words--not Yours.
It takes you out of the equation. Which is good, because we are fallible...and He isn't.
If there's one thing I could ask of you, pray about it. In English (or Spanish or whatever your primary language is).
Please don't dismiss it so simply. Please don't be too busy or too wary or too whatever to look deeper into this gift. I know it may look strange, but be encouraged! God gives good gifts to His children--and we are His children! He loves us.
Like the gift of salvation and baptism, the infilling of the Holy Spirit, shown by speaking in tongues is important.
It's life-changing.
I really believe that God wants to give it to each of His children. You can pray for it and God can fill you when you're by yourself at home. God can use someone to pray with you to receive this gift. There isn't some special formula to receive it. It's a gift--He won't force it on you. But trust me--it helps. It is something you want--even if you don't realize it yet.
I promise.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Disparity
I begin to really see the disparity [despair-ity]
working at Metropolitan Ministries
living at poverty level financially
unemployment
no healthcare
This.world.has.NOTHING.to.offer.but.
false hope
Obama can't save us.
Money and jobs won't save us.
Religion won't save us.
I've seen and experienced so much despair in my short life.
[then Hope came dancing out of the rafters]
& I was saved.
Given life.
[for the 82nd time]
Sometimes I look back at all the stuff I've done--the bad choices, the sin, the grief I put myself through...
...all because I wanted my way over God's way.
The worst punishment God could give us is to let us go our own way.
He gives Life, and that more abundantly.
Hope--real Hope--is only found in Jesus.
Love--real Love--is only found in Jesus.
Disparity becomes a choice.
sin vs. redemption
light vs. darkness
death vs. life
I choose Hope.
I choose Life.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
To God--my-Finder
Oh-God-that-restores-me
Oh-God-my-Finder
I wander away
meandering my way along the scenic route to hell.
I.lose.sight.of.you.
but You!
You never lose sight of me!
Your eyes pierce the darkness
You look steadily at me until my heart begins
to
melt
off
the
darkness
the sin, the selfishness
the arrogance.
Oh-God-My-Finder
You are the God of the 82nd chance!
You are the God that does not bring up my past faults!
Oh God, my God!
Keep me from the cheap substitutes!
These empty idols that creep into my life
I don't want other lovers.
I don't want other gods.
Rebellion was in my heart, but God, in His lovingkindness
drove
it out with his rod of discipline!
I've tried so many things, God.
so.many.things.
but they only decimated my life
they brought destruction
but you!
You bring Life!
You are the Great Blood Donor and Phlebotomist, rolled into one!
Sometimes I still crave the easy, instant-gratification ways of old.
But they can't fulfill me.
not like You do.
Oh God, my Fulfillment God!
I tried it all and it is NOTHING compared with You.
It only confuses.
Nothing from this world could help.
Mercy did.
Grace did.
Love--real Love--did.
[You did]
Oh-God-my-Finder
I wander away
meandering my way along the scenic route to hell.
I.lose.sight.of.you.
but You!
You never lose sight of me!
Your eyes pierce the darkness
You look steadily at me until my heart begins
to
melt
off
the
darkness
the sin, the selfishness
the arrogance.
Oh-God-My-Finder
You are the God of the 82nd chance!
You are the God that does not bring up my past faults!
Oh God, my God!
Keep me from the cheap substitutes!
These empty idols that creep into my life
I don't want other lovers.
I don't want other gods.
Rebellion was in my heart, but God, in His lovingkindness
drove
it out with his rod of discipline!
I've tried so many things, God.
so.many.things.
but they only decimated my life
they brought destruction
but you!
You bring Life!
You are the Great Blood Donor and Phlebotomist, rolled into one!
Sometimes I still crave the easy, instant-gratification ways of old.
But they can't fulfill me.
not like You do.
Oh God, my Fulfillment God!
I tried it all and it is NOTHING compared with You.
It only confuses.
Nothing from this world could help.
Mercy did.
Grace did.
Love--real Love--did.
[You did]
Monday, March 16, 2009
Interview Update
I think the interview with Youth and Family Alternatives went ok. It's pretty much exactly what I want to do...and I want the job.
So my prayer is that if it's the job God wants for me, it will work out.
Presto. Simple.
Now is the waiting part.
[my favorite]
With Metropolitan Ministries...the jobs they are currently hiring for aren't quite up my alley, or I'm not qualified for. So for now, I'm volunteering there a couple times a week.
So my prayer is that if it's the job God wants for me, it will work out.
Presto. Simple.
Now is the waiting part.
[my favorite]
With Metropolitan Ministries...the jobs they are currently hiring for aren't quite up my alley, or I'm not qualified for. So for now, I'm volunteering there a couple times a week.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Please be praying
I don't know who read this blog besides DeeDee and Mary--but I have a prayer request:
I have my first job interview today.
And then I have something like another job interview tomorrow.
Today is with Youth and Family Alternatives. Honestly, I don't remember applying to work for them--but then I've applied so many places...They called me twice yesterday to set up an interview.
Yesterday Rebecca Preston and I volunteered bright and early at Metropolitan Ministries. We were up to our elbows (quite literally, I assure you) in frozen raw chicken. We processed and seasoned anywhere from 30-50 pounds of chicken for one of their kitchens. We also made ginormous salads to feed a few hundred. The kitchen ladies officially labeled us the "salad girls"--we made pretty salads and so obviously enjoyed cutting the veggies.
We went to go set up another time for next week and had to stop in the director's office (we hadn't met him previously). He's a Christian and we got to talking. I'm really excited about what they are doing--and I want to help. However, he brought up the idea of working for Metro Min--I meet with him tomorrow to volunteer and talk some more.
So--I feel less stuck.
I hope I'm less stuck.
I still feel on hold about Invisible Children--which is hard since their events are coming next month and they need help.
I'm just asking that if one of these opportunities is supposed to become my place of work--that God will be all over it. It'll be so obvious, so simple for both parties. I believe that when I get offered the right position, that I will know that "this is it".
So my interview is at 2pm today
Tomorrow I'm scheduled to go to Metropolitan Ministries at 12:30pm.
Please be praying.
If you read my blog, leave a comment. I'd like to know who is reading :)
I have my first job interview today.
And then I have something like another job interview tomorrow.
Today is with Youth and Family Alternatives. Honestly, I don't remember applying to work for them--but then I've applied so many places...They called me twice yesterday to set up an interview.
Yesterday Rebecca Preston and I volunteered bright and early at Metropolitan Ministries. We were up to our elbows (quite literally, I assure you) in frozen raw chicken. We processed and seasoned anywhere from 30-50 pounds of chicken for one of their kitchens. We also made ginormous salads to feed a few hundred. The kitchen ladies officially labeled us the "salad girls"--we made pretty salads and so obviously enjoyed cutting the veggies.
We went to go set up another time for next week and had to stop in the director's office (we hadn't met him previously). He's a Christian and we got to talking. I'm really excited about what they are doing--and I want to help. However, he brought up the idea of working for Metro Min--I meet with him tomorrow to volunteer and talk some more.
So--I feel less stuck.
I hope I'm less stuck.
I still feel on hold about Invisible Children--which is hard since their events are coming next month and they need help.
I'm just asking that if one of these opportunities is supposed to become my place of work--that God will be all over it. It'll be so obvious, so simple for both parties. I believe that when I get offered the right position, that I will know that "this is it".
So my interview is at 2pm today
Tomorrow I'm scheduled to go to Metropolitan Ministries at 12:30pm.
Please be praying.
If you read my blog, leave a comment. I'd like to know who is reading :)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
One Liners on Beauty
I decided to see if I could use one line from a song to describe each of these pictures I took--here goes:
You are the one my heart is waiting for...
Hey Look! Here I am--Life is waiting to begin!
You are the Way--when the way is unknown--You are the Truth when the truth is not told...
Praise the Lord, oh my soul! And let all that's within me praise His name!
Beautiful man! Beautiful God!
You're more than worth my time!
You're more than worth these longings of my heart left unfulfilled
Those who sow in tears will reap with joyful shouting!
Like a flower after winter storm, Your love has no limit at all
You paint the sky for me to see--Your majesty is why I sing!
So this is a love song to You.
Over and over You prove Yourself Faithful--You prove Yourself a Redeemer!
You are the one my heart is waiting for... 
Hey Look! Here I am--Life is waiting to begin!
You are the Way--when the way is unknown--You are the Truth when the truth is not told...
Praise the Lord, oh my soul! And let all that's within me praise His name!
Beautiful man! Beautiful God!You're more than worth my time!
You're more than worth these longings of my heart left unfulfilled
Those who sow in tears will reap with joyful shouting! 
Like a flower after winter storm, Your love has no limit at all
You paint the sky for me to see--Your majesty is why I sing!So this is a love song to You.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hallelujah for the Tabebuia
Oh Shadowlands! How I love thee!
For God but SPOKE and there you were!
Trees dancing, singing free--free!
For God but SPOKE and there you were!
Trees dancing, singing free--free!
Oh God of the Shadowland!Come, illuminate--show us your path!
Walk with us hand in hand!
Come nearer, oh God of heaven and earth!Come with your bright-morning yellow hope!
Come, Lord--fill your children with your mirth!
Oh God who made the Tabebuia
Fill our hearts with your great hope
And we will raise a song of Hallelujah!
Fill our hearts with your great hope
And we will raise a song of Hallelujah!
Yellow is the color of hope
The Tabebuia blooms before spring begins
It comes, waving its branches like a flag
shedding its blooms with an air of victory
Singing, Singing
Spring is coming!
Sing, world, Sing!
Blaze your colors for the coming of Easter!
Winter is ending
Death is crumbling
New life is here!
Sing for Hope, Sing for Life!
That which was dead in the ground
Has been reborn--Come! Make a joyful sound!
Yes, earth, sing! Sing!
Sing your spring song to the Passover Lamb
Sing to our Risen King--the Great I AM.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A list of Thanks to the Great Phlebotomist
- Jesus rescued me
- More than once
- I have a home--both here and there
- I have food
- Clothing
- Electricity
- Grace
- Chocolate
- Parents that love and pray for me
- Singleness
- Job (the one God has yet to bring me into)
- Great friends
- Healing
Your goodness--oh my goodness!
My goodness is nothing compared to your goodness.
You transfuse Grace and Love into our lives, through your own shed blood
You are the Great Phlebotomist!
Oh Great Phlebotomist, how simply you give of yourself to me.
And how difficult I make it!
Contriving and Striving
I try to make this thing called Life-In-You work
[my way]
oh how I fail!
And how weak it makes me!
Oh Great Phlebotomist, transfuse new life into me
Make me a cleaner, better, wholler (holier) person
[please]
Help me not be offended when others hurt me
Help me give your Hope to the hopeless
Your Love to the loveless
Your Grace to the graceless
Please keep your children warm and safe-in-you tonight.
Amen.
Monday, March 2, 2009
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