April's desires

It is April.

I have so much on my heart--so many burdens I keep giving back to the Lord.

I've found the job I want to do--and I love doing it.

The only problem is, I'm not getting paid.

I love volunteering at Metropolitan Ministries.

I love the old black ladies on staff, with their love, hugs and big smiles.

I love working in the kitchen, the market, Outreach, prayer card project. I want to try tutoring in Adult Education and working with the Academy and GED programs and also with counseling clients.

I love how the counselors treat the clients with respect--homeless, ex-cons, homosexuals, transvestites, people with obvious addictions and emotional/spiritual problems.

I love how the passion for the lost isn't about beating the Gospel into someone's head or confusing them with Christian-ese.

I love stacking canned goods and talking to residents.

I love that Metropolitan Ministries has residents or else there would be more people living on the streets.

I love that the residents are required to volunteer in different areas within MM.

I love seeing hope come into the eyes of a woman with 5 kids and no food as she sees her shopping cart fill up with groceries that she picked out.

I love how the staff loves Jesus.

I love the flexibility and practicality of Metropolitan Ministries.

I like that I can do something different every time I come...that is if someone hasn't "reserved" me to help them.

I love being able to say "God bless you" and really meaning it.

This--This is what I want to do.

This is real ministry to me--hands-on, messy, practical--tired feet and prayerful heart.

I have about ZERO desire to job hunt anymore. I'm doing what I want to do in life, and it's interesting and heart-breaking and encouraging and strenuous and purposeful.

We're supposed to feed the hungry, heal the sick, clothe the naked, help the needy and orphans and widows (single moms too). That is the Gospel--the Good News in tangible form.

But.

I just can't live off unemployment forever. I could technically be one of the people there RECEIVING services, not extending services.

I'm still stuck.

I've been allowed to move forward in volunteering with MM, but not with work (the Youth and Family Alternatives didn't call me back)

And after working here, I can't take a ho-hum, answering phones or flipping burgers kind of job. I don't think I'm supposed to either.

But it's April.

And in a few weeks, it will be 6 months since I lost my job.

6 months.

It really hurts sometimes.

[especially lately]

It's really lonely sometimes.

[especially lately]

I just pray that God will open a door for me and make it abundantly clear that it's what I need to do.