Doors

close]

& open [

for me, they've mostly stayed closed for the past 2 years.

Granted it was my self-[w]ill that caused much of my pain.


Yesterday morning was...testing.

I didn't get the job I interview for on Tuesday.
[I got a "Dear Jessica" e-mail instead]

My unemployment started paying me less
And somebody smashed my trash bin.

[always a lovely start to a morning]

& I thought "Is nothing sacred?"

God, you want me to trust you--and I do--but why is it so hard right now?
Why am I so stuck?

6 months.
180 days + and [not] counting.


Pacing outside.
Lifting weights.
Dancing it out.
Praying.

[crying]

Back inside.

Restless.

Seeking guidance [half]hearted

I opened my Bible on my desk and then started to pull up the daily devotional I read online.
A few minutes later, I felt I should look at where I opened my Bible to. [see previous post for connection]

Isaiah 35 [some verses omitted for the sake of space]

Even the wilderness and desert will rejoice in those days; the desert will blossom with flowers.
Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy!

With this news bring cheer to all discouraged ones. Encourage those who are afraid. Tell them,

"Be strong, fear not, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you."

And when He comes, He will open the eyes of the blind, and unstop the ears of the deaf. The lame man will leap up like a deer, and those who could not speak will shout and sing! Springs will burst forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.

And a main road will go through that once-deserted land; it will be named "The Holy Highway." No evil-hearted men may walk upon it. God will walk there with you; even the most stupid cannot miss the way.

No lion will lurk along its course, nor will there be any other dangers; only the redeemed will travel there. These, the ransomed of the Lord, will go home along that road to Zion, singing the songs of the everlasting joy.

For them all sorrow and all sighing will be gone forever; only joy and gladness will be there."

::
::

And just like that--I was reminded of His unfailing love and mercy.

I went into Metropolitan Ministries and besides having a productive work day, I also had an interview set up for Monday for a Volunteer Coordinator position. It's only part-time, and I intend to be completely honest about my previous job and current financial situation. There's a rumor that I'm going to get the job--everyone was asking me about it.

Then I went to Lakeland for church--but regular church was canceled.

but I did get to see DM. [yay!] Books and coffee shops and long talks and walking...*contented sigh*


SO what started out as an awful day, turned into something good. I believe God's word.

And I believe He is here with me in the wilderness.